


we are rotting old trinkets

by emptyskies



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Conflict of Interests, Difficult Decisions, M/M, Memory Loss, Rebirth, Reflection, Secret Relationship, Tokyo Ghoul: re
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24866734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emptyskies/pseuds/emptyskies
Summary: After regaining his memory and the night before he is set to break Hinami out of Cochlea, Kaneki reflects on his relationship with Juuzou and how this decision will affect them permanently.
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Suzuya Juuzou
Kudos: 25





	we are rotting old trinkets

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it's not too out of character, if so I apologise. I'm a rather big fan of this ship (and many others from Tokyo Ghoul) but it's been quite a while since I watched the show and as such their characters are a little hazy for me. 
> 
> I'm also not sure I entirely like the way this turned out but I also just started working on my fanfiction again so I guess you've got to start somewhere?
> 
> Title from Oddie Moore by Skating Polly.

Kaneki wondered, when it was all said and done, if Juuzou would ever forgive him. If even in death he would still be utterly irredeemable for the things he'd done in the name of what he felt was right. Grimly, he looked down upon the sleeping boy with nothing less than concern. He longed to reach out and touch his cheek, touch his pale pink mouth where the stitches entered his flesh and reassure himself that he was real- real and all his at least for the night but he inevitably chose to suppress the urge and allowed Juuzou to sleep on. This was all they had anymore, all they had ever had really. It had always been there, only ever in the darkest of night where no one could see their shame. Kisses and bruises and experimental stitches that sting and twing alike underneath their clothing; and these too far gone stares and half smiles hidden the only hints that it was more than just a fantasy, or a shared delusion.

Little more than friends now, but not yet enemies- or so he hoped. He had never wanted it to be that way, to end like this but he had begun to realise that sometimes, you get no choice in the matter. You could only take the cards life dealt you and make do and come out stronger for it. But of all the friends, gained family he had lost when he lost his memory- _Touka, Hinami, Yoshimura-_ he thought this one might hurt worst of all. They were broken down dolls trying to make the best of their bad situations, and what had once brought them together would now rip them apart irreparably.

Tears pricked up in his eyes, as his thoughts came and went, of times he lost, and the people hadn't been able to save when it came down to it- including himself. At least now he'd be good for something more; something other than the particular brand of violence he had become known for, he could help Hinami even the cost of the affection of another and possibly the loss of his own life.

Juuzou would kill him himself if he knew _"you have such a death wish i'll kill you myself."_ At least with Juuzou he didn't have to worry about being stabbed in the back- he would undoubtedly go for the throat. Kaneki bit back a smile, and wiped at his damp, flushed face as he cast an affectionate glance his way then to the clock high up on the wall, only illuminated by the moon shining through a crack in the curtains. He'd need to sleep a couple hours at least if he wanted to be in any shape to help Hinami get out of Cochlea.

His mind was set as he gently began to slide into bed, but was stopped by Juuzou's scarred, calloused palm on his arm, and when he looked down upon him he was staring up back up at him with unfocused, half lidded eyes. He let out a long, exaggerated sigh and tugged at Kaneki's newly white hair. "Your brain's gonna explode with all that over thinking you do."

Kaneki huffed out a laugh, a little dry and humourless with his previous topic of thought still fresh in his mind as he basked in the warmth of Juuzou's small body clinging to his. It very well may be the last time he ever would. "Yeah, well."

"Sleepytime Haise, you know what that means!"

"Okay, okay." He conceeded, with a little smile and an ache in his chest that would surely never fade. He wished they could stay like this forever- or until the lives they knew faded from existence. Tomorrow would be their reality. And the time to face the one he had left behind when he had become Haise Sasaki.

"Goodnight, Juuzou." _goodbye._

**Author's Note:**

> This should be a link to my tumblr. Send me messages, send asks, hell send me requests, just whatever.  
> [fades-in-time](http://fades-in-time.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I hope who ever ends up reading this mess enjoyed it! Also if you're wondering why I only mentioned Touka, Hinami, and Yoshimura it's because I have the brain of a pigeon and can't remember anyone else's name and I'm too tired to look anyone else up. Whoops.


End file.
